Curiosity Brutally Murdered the Cat

28 Mar

Have you ever noticed that every cat dies of a tragic death? Honestly, do you know any cats that have died in their sleep? Last week my 15 year-old beloved cat, Mama Kitty, was swooped up by an owl and taken away as a midnight snack. It made me realize that every cat dies a horrific death.

I have had five cats in my lifetime and not one of them has died of natural causes. First off was an orange tabby. I was around four years old when this kitty met his fate. My brother was leaving for his baseball game, not knowing that the cat had crawled up underneath his truck. When he started his engine the poor orange tabby was skinned alive. Horrible, I know. Then came Big Kitty. We had Big Kitty before I was even born, but when I was seven, Big Kitty got hit by a car and we had to put him to sleep.

Next came Vivian, the most tragic death of all. Vivian was a pretty calico and Mama Kitty’s baby.  My family and I had just gotten home from vacation and my mom was doing laundry. She started the dryer and heard a thumping noise, but just thought it was a pair of tennis shoes. After about an hour my mom went to get the clothes out and to her horror there was sweet little Vivian, dead in the dryer.  I am still scared from this incident.  Poor Viv, curiosity truly did kill the cat.

Puff, Vivian’s brother, was next to go. Puff was my favorite of all my cats. He was a freak of nature, doing things like drinking out of the toilet, eating cheerios with me every morning and weighing nearly 18 pounds. Puff and I were the best of friends.  He followed me around like a dog.  One day during my junior year of high school, Pufferson never returned home from his daily outdoor adventure. I looked all over for that cat, and I came to the conclusion that he was abducted.  About a year after his disappearance, a girl that lives a mile away from me posted pictures of “her” cats on Facebook.  One of them looked EXACTLY like my Puff, so naturally I stalked this girl until I came across her phone number. Like the crazy cat person I am, I texted her simply saying, “Hey you have my cat..”

She fed me a lie saying she had the cat since he was born, but I know she is the cat stealer. I know my cat when I see it. Another example of a tragic cat death is my boyfriend’s cat, Sox. One day, Sox just snapped and was never the same. They took him to the vet thinking a car had hit him, but the vet said he showed no signs of serious injury. From that day on Sox would turn circles to the left until someone stopped him.  Two weeks after the vet, Sox disappeared. They searched all over for him. As they were beginning to give up, my boyfriend heard a meow in the distance. He traced the meow to the neighborhood pond where Sox was just chilling, neck deep, in the water. Two days later, Sox was sunbathing on the drive way. I am sure you can see where this is going. Sure enough, Sox got run over, but STILL did not die. Finally, they decided to put the cat out of his misery with a shovel. Not the method of choice, but finally after more than nine lives, the cat died a tragic death.

Cats may have nine lives, but once that ninth one is up, it is sure to be a horrific death.


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